Can you relate to this? Your child is having a meltdown in the store and you don’t handle it very well. In fact, you essentially have a meltdown of your own. Later that evening she starts running a fever and you realize, belatedly, that the earlier tantrum was due to her coming down with something. How about this one? You are stressed at the end of a long day. Your child has a question, or wants to share something with you, and you snap! The kind of response that leaves him dazed and confused. These are some of the actions of loving, caring parents...who also happen to be human.
First Connect...Then Correct
When your child is having a meltdown perhaps the last thing on your mind is “connecting” with him or her. You may be attempting to get your child out the door...or to bed...or to finish homework. Often you are just trying to keep it together yourself. First, take a deep breath. Your ability to be calm is essential to getting things back on track.
Get more of the behaviors you want
Consider the child who is constantly being corrected and redirected at home and school. He becomes fully aware of his difficulty with managing his emotions, or with staying on task, or with following directions. The adults in his world become very adept at spotting these difficulties as well. In fact, often that is all that they bring to his attention. Parents and teachers are on the look out for ways to help him improve, so when he is doing well not much is said. Let me challenge you to flip the focus. “Catch your child doing something good!”.
How to recover from a parenting blunder
Can you relate to this? Your child is having a meltdown in the store and you don’t handle it very well. In fact, you essentially have a meltdown of your own. Later that evening she starts running a fever and you realize, belatedly, that the earlier tantrum was due to her coming down with something. How about this one? You are stressed at the end of a long day. Your child has a question, or wants to share something with you, and you snap! The kind of response that leaves him dazed and confused. These are some of the actions of loving, caring parents...who also happen to be human.