“A family mission statement is a unified expression from all family members of what your family is about and the principles you choose to live by.”
Imagine you are on an airplane and the captain announces “Folks, we have completely lost track of where we are, and where we are going. We’ll just see where we end up”. That would be quite disconcerting to say the least. Unfortunately, raising a family in today’s hectic, fast-paced world can sometimes feel like this. Parents (the captains) often don’t have the time, energy and/or knowledge to “chart a course” for their family based on their values and aspirations. Major decisions are made reactively. When “severe turbulence” occurs, the family may be completely thrown off course without a guide to getting back on track.
What is a Family Mission Statement?
Every successful organization is guided by their mission. It helps them in making decisions that contribute to the success of the organization. A family can benefit from a mission statement as well.
A family mission statement is a summary of the values, goals, and aspirations that guide a family's decisions, actions, and interactions. It serves to unify the family around the kind of family they want to be, the home environment that they want to have, and the future they want to create as a family. It is a roadmap that guides day-to-day decisions, as well as long-term plans. As the family changes, the mission statement is updated as needed.
Why have a family mission statement?
Family Identify
As mentioned above, a family mission statement outlines how you want your family to be. What kind of home environment do you want to have? How do family members communicate with each other? What does your family value most? The statement helps to define the family’s identity. Creating and updating the mission statement encourages open communications and strengthens family bonds.
Alignment of Values
Most family values and principles are communicated through the process of daily life. Sometimes, however important values are not clearly communicated, or they are misinterpreted. A mission statement is an intentional way to highlight the family’s core values. It ensures that everyone understands these values and has a chance to talk about them.
Parenting with the mission in mind
The parent-child relationship is comprised of a series of interactions with the ultimate purpose of ensuring the safety and wellbeing of your children. These interactions are impacted by several factors that we may be conscious of or that may be outside of our conscious awareness. When the values, principles, and goals of the family are distilled in a mission statement, it serves as reminder about what is important. A parent can see how a decision about a current issue fits in with the long-term goals of the family. As parents try to improve their parenting, they can be guided by the family’s mission.
Resilience in Adversity
The mission statement can serve as a “beacon in the storm” to guide the family when the inevitable disruptions occur. When there is a crisis in the family, it is helpful to have a reminder of what is truly important to your family. You can assess decisions or choices through the lens of the core family values. If choices are made that are contrary to your values, and this will happen, the family can get back on track.
Ideas for family mission statements
The great thing about a mission statement is that there is no exact formula for creating one. It is unique and meaningful to your family. The family will collaborate, over time, to develop something that resonates with all family members. You may use words, pictures, and other media to create a visual representation of your family. The key is that everyone (who can) participates in creating the mission statement. As children become old enough, they have input as well.
Here are few ideas:
Brief statement that summarizes the mission. It may start with “In our family we…”
Using the letters in the family name, find words that show the values you want to uphold.
A word or phrase that is meaningful to the family. No one outside of the family has to understand the meaning.
A Collage of events and experiences that show what is important to the family. You may decide to add a caption that sums it up.
Song or poem
Crafting a family mission statement is an effective way to reinforce shared values, goals, and aspirations. A visual reminder serves as a guide for both short-term and long-term decisions. Periodic updates help to keep it relevant for the changing family. It is never too late to create one.